Viral from C2W – fail to impress

Just stumbled on a new ‘viral’ from contest to win. They call it the ShineShah aimed at promoting retirement plans from IDBI.

Do check it here (if you really want to that is). Very losely connected script and making fun of a cult character from the past leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

Guess its time we see something fresh!

But the fact that I clicked on an ad from facebook to reach this viral should be good from a numbers point of view. I am not convinced about IDBI though.

Heavy Metal blues

Reached Bombay. Is quite different from the silence back home.

Listened to Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin on my old CD Walkman and the CD collection. Got back the rechargeable batteries too. Heavy Metal works even in 2009. Was fearing I might grow over those Audio CDs.

Just a cool pic of Ozzy.

Let’s Dance – a good bollywood movie :-)

I happened to see a movie in style the day before the release.

This is “Let’s Dance”. A very cool movie based on dancing and zero star cast. A whole new set of people – which includes the actors, child actors, director and the producer, technically well made and mind blowing soundtrack (includes a lot of drum and bass, mid tempo dance music and a few glitches here and there).

Cool hip hop dance steps – check
Children dancing (spins, splits and all that) – check
Very groovy soundtrack – check
Amazing Hindi from an actor – check (Neil – the restaurant dude)
True mumbaiyya hindi from kids – check
Very cute lead actress – check
amazing visuals – check
Arrogant actor who has some human elements too – check

Lots of kissing, fondling and general steam on the screen – FAIL
Promotion and lots of money pumped to make the movie look good before it hits the screens – FAIL

So, go ahead. Give this one a chance. Hit the theatres for Let’s Dance. You wont be disappointed! Do check this Facebook group for details. Check out this blog for more details on Let’s Dance

Weltan Butterfly starts off

People – glad to say I am starting off a firm now. Calling it Weltan Butterfly.

Would be doing Social Media Consulting. Will work for food, clothing, shelter and money.

Bondsurance – viral video – Bond, Hema Malini, bad ass bike and unshaven villains

A new viral has come out for IDBI Bonds. This one comes from Contests2win.

The idea is pretty cool. The execution is neat and very Bombay.

Yet, is viral the real way?
Could bonds be sold though humour?

1. Bonds are known for their less return and serious target audience. One may laugh at the ad, think about the hawaldar joke and then move on. Good from an awareness perspective. (We have the coconut dealer with the thick Tamil accent talking about the returns and riches at the end).

2. Ideal solution for selling products which require more thought and research from the audience should be some other form of advertising rather than a viral. Makemytrip virals by Webchutney have clicked as buying air tickets involves opening a few tabs and then booking it. FTW! FTW!

3. Looking at the viral from the contests2win perspective, this is a complete win. They get the eyeballs, they get the creative appreciation and maybe a few awards to put up as testimonials for their competence. However, as an ad agency, they should really look for other means of selling the bonds. Get down to the basics – get more people to buy their client’s stuff.

Awesome effort though. Guess its time to move on from Tamil accent bashing. It ceases to be funny after 25 years!

Ads on buses and rics – good visibility?

Advertising on buses, rics and trains are smart ideas. Getting to hear that this form of ads are sure catching up on a lot of places.

These two are your regular new media startups going beyond new media to advertise themselves. Where? The Rush Hour!

Analytics and stuff may be tough for these ads. However, going by the Reach – Frequency formula, more buses / rics / taxis in congested traffic where people can’t avoid to see these ads sure can get some Word of Mouth publicity. A lot of movies sure try to do stuff on BEST buses.

And at times neat neat creatives too. Can we call it OOH though?

Guerilla branding

If you happen to go to Lokhandwala, Andheri (W), Mumbai anytime, do remember to check out Gogola near the HDFC bank there. Its a sure hard on for all Google fans.

I happened to walk by this place and Wolala, I am a fan. Had a gola too. The “Masala Soda”. They give you the stuff in a nice plastic cup with the Google look alike Go.Gola logo. I still have the cup with me .

P.S. My camera got conked off. My bluetooth well does not exist to transfer a mobile pic. But I have the cup with me. The Masala Soda rocked.

Thanks to Sujathafan from Flickr for these snaps.

TV reporting sucks fat ass

Bombay got to see some bad days from those terrorists. I had no net and no computer for the last four days. Was feeling like a bitch too. Had to watch TV very painfully. No burst of TV watching exceeded 30 minutes at any point in time.

1. The young reporters need to be fired.
2. The reporters sure are doing a great job of being near the firing scenes at Taj and Trident. Good work. It stops there.
3. You got to be a reporter. So speak clearly. 10 minutes of listening to these people talk can give you some serious headache and no clear information passage.
4. Opinions of reporters are not necessary. Calling up the foreign minister of Pakistan and asking him “should WE not think TOGETHER” – Well, I never asked for the reporter to take charge any day – did I?
5. The layout on TV looks somewhat like this

Which part of the screen are the people supposed to see above.
6. Surprisingly and unfortunately and due to lack of choice, these news channels get maximum leverage.

Mall Culture and Freedom Struggle

I happened to do some slow walking through infinity mall at Andheri, Bombay. The results are pretty striking I should say.

Step 1 was just the process of walking in the mall. The security who is supposed to check for bombs and such scary stuff looked unprepared for an emergency. One wave of the magic wand (the sensor thing) and “Welcome Sir!” I looked easy and patient to be checked. He liked it!

One thing to be very clear in a mall. No one ever looks patient and easy at the mall entrance. It sucks to be checked by a very ugly looking guy when you decide to take a look at the good life at the mall. One person who would be happy to take it very slow at the mall would be the one who is destroying it. One very good look for the “Before / After” imagery!

Now that I am in the mall, I see a lot of wicked laughter. People in malls never frown. They smile, they hold hands and openly look around – with or without the jaws dropping.

A jewellery shop right at the entrance and four ugly looking Policemen just outside the store. If the policemen are here to catch people who do wrong as my mother said, I am scared. I don’t need to spend my hard earned money on some designer jewellery. I prefer love instead. Wasting money is wrong. The policemen inside the mall are an eye-sour. They belong to the streets – not to my materialistic and capilatistic symbolism – the big ass mall!.

Give it a good look. Any mall would have two maybe three floors of shopping space. The mall building however would stand atleast seven stories tall. Four floors of empty space. This gives it a larger than life persona.

Right on your face huge ass banners taller than the three floors of shopping space is a good idea. People are bound to read it. I would make a 3 + 2 = 5 floor tall banner. Taller than that is not that effective. Add the air conditioning and the good life lighting to improve our ad visibility.

“Shop for obscene amount of money on my credit card for a 5% discount”.

I love discounts. Makes me feel smarter. I know where I got this thing which looks rich even though I don’t earn much to get it. A 5% discount. HA HA! Infinity mall makes me happy and elated about life. Maybe among all the good things that is available here, I may meet my future wife too – shopping at Lifestyle. How romantic! One more good thing to add to my interesting set of things that I possess.

Oh! exclusivity? From Infinity mall – where a whole civilzation “hangs out” – is that important? There would be another SEC A Good college educated earning huge money cool young man with a pretty similar lifestyle and materialistic possessions as mine – Levi’s jeans, Pepe shirts, Fossil Watch, Jovan Musk Cologne, Nike Shoes, Adidas socks and a fucking mickey mouse bed sheet you get for cheap.

There were girls playing with a video camera and people posing in front of those cameras saying how cool they feel about coming to infinity mall. I should also ask for permission from the mall authorities to play a small prank. I would ask people if they would like to hug me for free! This, by the way, is not an original idea. It is from a music video I saw a few years back while having a mug of steaming cup of coffee that my Amma made me! I used to watch a lot of music videos. They are full of materialistic life too. A chick, a car, good furniture – cool ones, and people loving you for showing them these things and how they make you feel good!

The ground floor did not interest me much. There were a few girls only stores tucked neatly under the escalators at the mall. I saw them for the first time yesterday. I swear I never bothered about them. That is the trick here. The malls know the Nike trotting, Fossil timed, Levi Jeans SEC A good college educated Indian male does not go to girls’ store or near them. Its an ego thing you know!

Girls hang around there for a long time away from the gazes of “these male eyes”. You can get in only with your girl pals. Not with your boyfriend. Girls tend to be themselves here. A little bitchy, a little true and a little cruel. The pretty little things in these girl stores should prepare them for more bitchiness, cruelty and truth.

The girl stores made me weak and hurt my ego. Had to ignore them as a sign of respect for all the indian men who left it to their women – a public sanctuary. I leave it to the deserved ones.

The boyfriends and girlfriends can come to the infinity mall for some “no privacy” trip. I compeltely support PDA. I love to love women when things around me shows me and tells me “Life is good. Look at the NEW all around”. Kudos to infinity mall for promoting the beautiful idea of Public Display of Affection. It is affection after all – the ultimate truth of animalkind.

All malls need to have escalators. They don’t mind you walking away to death. But, no climbing stairs. And like Google, bigger spends do not guarantee best results. So like the jewellery store which gets a lot of crowd, there are other stores on other floors which gets good crowds. Malls are all about visibilty – infinity mall included.

The escalator takes you slowly upwards while giving you all excuse to stare at the beautiful bottoms and feel nice about it. No one minds it. All of them are staring bottoms – the mall escalators have a rather steep slope compared to airports. No one watches bottoms when travelling far in little time. They are all looking up at the sky most of the time. Even signboards at airports are rather tall. You need to look up to read them. SeCURITY CHeCK;.

The bottoms make me happy. I smile at times too. No one questions your smile at Infinity mall – afterall it is a happy place. The bottoms slowly disperse away at the end of the escalator giving way to a huge advertisement

“50% off on all kinds of juices. Big Bazaar welcomes you”

Well, I am not a juice person. Yet, I should just check it out. Don’t ask me why.

“Welcome sir!”

Whoosh – the door opens. Big Bazaar has its entry scene sorted out in a big way.

“Mumbai food fest! Anything cost you just Rs. 5″

I need a Vada pav.
Me – a mini sandwhich.
Pani puri

etc.

etc.

etc.

Junk food – not me. I am on a ghar ka khana trip. Good for me. I just need to walk in.

Perfumes!

“Good evening sir. Would you like to test something?”

“No dude! I am not buying. Do not waste your time. I am only looking at the deos.”

Rs. 149 – Oh I know them – Deo – Axe / Brut / other cheap ass deos
Rs. 199 – Mild / Strong / Lemony / Water based
Rs. 299 – Cologne / French names / Getting scared a little
Rs. 399 – I was blind to these brands / Beautiful glass bottles which may break if not careful
Rs. 499 – Beautiful perfumes … Oh they are cool … I should look more at these things in the future…… I could smell better now. The whole world smells of Axe…..

Female voice! “Sir – would you like to try something on?”

Smile!

Fades smile! Serious look!

There are basically five kinds of moods in a mall.

1. I am interested (very rare – salesmen should smell this mood)
2. I am busy (I like it. I don’t have money and I am not admitting it)
3. I need to leave (Its too much now. The crowd, the traffic, the boss, the life – all sucks)
4. I am a pretty bee (I am here. I will be here. I just like it here. I am so much a BEE)
5. FUCK YOU! (Insanity. Cruelty. Cannibalism. The prices here are obsene. 3000 rupees for a fucking t-shirt?)

“I am not buying. I am only looking at them. Please show me this one here. Yes, the beautiful blue bottle with French written on it”

“This is a mild minty smell. It intensifies your natural smell and makes you superior. I ll put some on your hand, wave and BLOW a cool air in a very non classy way that would make you hate me for on your hand”

I take a smell – Minty. Yes. I like it like that.

Plates, spoons, buckets, soaps, towels, pillow covers, bed sheets – the signs of a happy home. You can buy them here.

“VENGA BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN.
We like to party.
We like
we like
we like to party.
VENGA BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN.”

Happy tunes in the mall. I was wondering what made me so perfume and bucket friendly at Big bazzar. The happy tunes are making me stupid and buy these things here. Make me feel full again.

“We have ICICI credit card for you. Sign up and you get 1 Kg of sugar free for free”

A few more stores mostly clothes and more clothes. Brands, labels and Price tags. Measuring you with the money power.

An ego battle.

Minus 2000? Minus 5000? Minus 15000?

What defines you. How much can you take? A big minus on your bank account should not hurt you much. Well, you walk out smelling better, looking better and socially superior to the ones who does not possess the beautiful blue perfume bottle.

Are we still facing slavery? On a micro scale? Slavery from your bank accounts, your malls, beautiful french blue perfume? La belle Dame sans merci? Freedom struggle starts at home this time. I know it already. What? We are Slaves!!!

Step inside your home. Start your struggle for freedom.

Starts with two words.

CHILL OUT!

iRock Prelims Bombay Day 1

Happened to hit day 1 at iRock Bombay Prelims.

Reached the venue a little late and hence missed all but one track by the first band (Aftertaste that is).

Overall I would say the prelims SUCKED ASS!

We had The Works coming up next with some “on your face” Classic Rock. Agreed you can play well and do the leads, but what’s with the show factor guys? Looked too wannabe on stage. Too much effort to look cool and act cool makes one do poor (really poor) imitations of Rolling Stones, Zeppelin and even a little KISS. The musicians were OK I should say though. But trying too much of covers is not a good idea these days. Where is the creativity? This is iRock for God’s sake! Not some nearby friendly college fest! For the first time in life, I hated it from the bottom of my being when people played covers (done pretty well too). But Voodoo Child cover kicked ASS! Good work “The Works”. KEEP OFF THE COVERS though.

“The Depth” followed “The Works”. All originals and close to Funk sorts of sounds. Rich band though. Fret-less Bass guitars and neck-less lead guitars. I was impressed! The sounds – not good not bad sorts. Its good to play funk sounds. Yet, there was an obvious lack of punch in the sounds. Good bass lines and one minute leads are good. Are they good enough though? And what’s with the National Anthem and “61 years of independence. Do you like what you see?” Over fuckin used cliche lines. Very avoidable. The non Americanism in the sounds were a welcome change though.

“The Manefus” – band from Baroda again proving so hard they are fuckin amateur. All songs looks like bad copy pastes of RATM in a way. The same riffs, vocals and stuff. No attitude to cover it off too. Who the fuck would play a Nirvana song at a competition? Who are you kidding bros? And they fucked majorly with the sounds too. The whole gig sounded like an unusually long sound check for all you care. And the bass was too high all the time. I was thinking – “Reduce the bass you assholes. REDUCE THE FUCKIN BASS”

Overall, are we seeing a shifting from the ultra heavy scene here? Some sort of evolution into post rock and new sounds sure would be a lot welcome. We could make use of these sounds in a way. Sticking to originals should become mandatory in a way. Covers need to be banned.

The crowd – eating their fuckin food and drinking their fuckin wine at HRC. Looked more like a page 3 event rather than a rock fest. Sure we had a few black t-shirts throwing the devil and banging their heads. But mostly chicks. Not that I dont like it. I love it. But it is not what we are here for. Are we darlings?

Looking forward to Day 2 of Bombay iRock Prelims tonight.